I got slapped in the face... by a dude!

It was sophomore year and we were heading to the club. We pregame before we go and head out in Al’s car. My roomate, Ryan, decides to pop in a classic N’sync CD. Why Al had this I have no idea. Of course we have to sing it, with the windows down. So gay.

We get to the club, but me and Jeff head over to the a bar first, as there are rumors of $1 drafts. We go in and there’s 4 people in there. And drafts are not $1. But beers are $2 so we each get one, drink them and head over to the club.

Waiting in line, I’m looking at this dude next to me bitch to his friend, the douche, about how he can’t get in. The douche is outside with a drink in his hand, saying, "I got you, I know everybody here." For some reason, I find this situation to be rather humorous, and I am laughing. I tend to laugh a lot for no reason at all. The douche says, “yeah buddy, keep laughing.” So, of course, I continue to laugh. My laughing has gotten me into trouble many times before and it looks like it may happen again. Douche tells the bouncer to make sure he checks my ID very good and to not let me in. I look at the bouncer like "what the fuck did I do?"

I’m still standing there with a smirk on my face. The douche is standing behind me. He reaches around me and slaps me in the face. The bouncer says to him, “Ok, you’re not coming back in.” I get past the bouncer and look at the douche. He’s still pissed at me, so I say, “you’re lucky you’re fat, you fuck! McDonald's is down the road. I bet you won't have trouble getting in there!” He tries to force his was to me but is stopped by the bouncer. He is very drunk.

After being slapped, I really wanted to punch this guy in the face, but I looked at the situation. If I hit him I'm not getting into the bar. He’s about 6 foot, 220 pounds. At the time I am a lot smaller than I am now. Then I was about 5’9” 140 pounds. There’s cops rolling around outside. This guy claims to be friends with the bouncers, meaning they may let him pound me. I have Jeff, and only Jeff at my back. So I choose to talk shit instead of hitting him. A rare good decision on my part. But don't worry folks, I'll make what seem like poor decisions later in the night.

We get in and drink some more. The night is pretty boring for the most part. I’m outta money and not going to drink anymore so I gotta do something to end the boredom. Jeff tells me that he saw the guy who slapped me. He must truly know someone here if they let him back in after that shit. I go to the bathroom and get the brilliant idea to go find this douche.

We keep looking for the douche, and I’m thinking that the kid Jeff saw wasn’t him. I say, “let’s stop looking for him, he’s probably not even here. If we see him then we’ll do something.” We’re still walking around for a while and Jeff points him out again. “Chuck, he’s right there.”

I stare him down and walk up to him.

Me: You slapped me in the face earlier
Douche: yeah
Me: You SLAPPED me in the face
Douche: Do you like the Bills?
Me: What?
Douche: Do you like the Bills?
Me: yeah
Douche: Ok, I’m sorry
Me: (being a complete asshole and not wanting to let him off that easy) Dude you slapped me in the fucking face
Douche: What, you want me to do it again. I know everybody here. You wanna fight all of the club? (goes and sets his drink down, brings his buddy over)
Douche: (to his friend) I might have to knock this kid
Friend: (trying to be all tough) You got a problem with him?
Me: Yeah, the kid slapped me in the face. (to douche) what, so you think you’re better then me?
Douche: Yeah
Me: do you go to school?
Douche: What?
Me: You’re a faggot

He grabs me by the shirt and starts pushing me. I’m backing up. I put my hands up. He doesn’t let go, but he does slightly loosen his grip. I reach up and knock him right across the face. Solid hit. He almost falls backwards and lets go. Now he’s fucking pissed. He swings and I dodge it. But he grabs me by the shirt again. I just keep backing up so that he can’t reach me with a punch, almost knocking bar tables over. All of a sudden I see all these huge bouncers sprinting over. I put my hands up like I didn’t even do anything. Douche is still trying to come at me. Big black bouncer dude tackles him. One of the bouncers points me to the door but then goes to help the other bouncers throw this dude out.

Now a waitress or some chick who works there comes up and is talking to me. I tell her, "he slapped me and I was just trying to defend myself. I’m not gonna try to fight a guy that big." She buys it and takes my side. That was easy. She tells the bouncers she saw him start the whole thing. I am in love with her. I ask the bouncer if I need to leave, thinking if I’m cool about it that they won’t ban me. The chick tells him I'm ok. They do not ban me and they do not even kick me out that night. Guess I was lucky. That dude supposedly had connections there, which I think I believe, but he still got the boot, not me.

We stay at the club for about another 40 minutes. I'm kinda worried that him and his cronies would be waiting outside, but I’m leaving with a slightly bigger group now and there’s always a ton of cops driving around outside. Nothing happens outside and we head back to the dorms. Looked at my knuckles, and there was just one small cut. I was guessing I caught that on his tooth or something.

So I got slapped, and my shirt ripped a little bit, but that guy got knocked in the face by a kid who weighs 140 pounds and was listening to and singing N'sync on the way to the club. Hey buddy, I'll be laughing about this one for a while.

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